


That’s A Relief

by onlyhereforellick



Series: Fictober ‘19 [10]
Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, fictober19, post ep 17x03, s16 mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-12-07 17:08:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20979413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlyhereforellick/pseuds/onlyhereforellick
Summary: “That part has always been clear, my heart says you, Ellie. It always has- always will, that’s the problem,” he declared with a wink.





	That’s A Relief

**Author's Note:**

> fictober 19; prompt 10: “Listen, I can’t explain it, you’ll have to trust me.”
> 
> Was going to leave this a cliffhanger & then decided to just finish it because I didn’t feel like making a sequel 😝

__

Sharing a nice, hearty laugh with her guys felt good. And frankly, Torres deserved to get thrown under the bus with Jack after his stunt with the Director. Good thing McGee and Bishop had worked together for so long they communicated their plan with a look—let Torres take the fall for calling Jack out on her thing with Gibbs. Oh it had been priceless, and the icebreaker they all needed to hopefully start to get back to normally. 

Walking out of the building together, Bishop still felt like she needed to make it up to them both for keeping them in the dark about Ziva. And that’s how she found herself nervously offering a round of drinks on her, “Hey you guys, uh- you guys wanna grab a drink? Decompress and all that? First round’s on me.”’

McGee was the first to chime in, “That sounds great, Bishop, but I think I’m going to spend some time with Delilah and the twins. You know, count my blessings...” he trailed off with a far away look in his eye. 

Understanding and a little bummed, Ellie nodded and looked to her feet. She knew there was no way Nick would want to spend time alone with her, he barely looked her in the eye anymore. Guess it was just take out and whatever beer she had in her fridge—

“I’m down,” Nick piped up, so quietly she almost missed it. “I won’t turn down a free drink.”

She wasn’t about to get into the alcohol vs club soda debate here, instead she offered to drive.

The ride over was uneventful and quiet. Initially they chatted about Gibbs and Jack, but the second Ellie joked that Gibbs’ might throw away Rule 12 for Jack, Nick got silent..fast. The abrupt stop in conversation confused Ellie, and she was not on good enough ground with him to push it. So she drove in silence the remainder of the way.

Choosing a somewhat secluded table and placing an order, they resumed their silent game. Nick toying with the empty coaster, once again refusing to look her in the eyes. At this point, she’d had enough. They could not continue to work like this as partners, or friends. 

“So.” She broke through the quiet, yet Nick continued to stare at his hands. “You let Ziva win.”

His head snapped up and for a beat he just stared at her intently, almost like he was in interrogation and he was trying to read a suspect, a slight furrow to his brow clued her in that she was getting better at her poker face— _ that and the scarf she put on earlier hid her stupid sweaty neck. _ Finally, he answered, “yep, I let her win.”

“I call bullshit.” Ellie demanded, adding nothing else, seeing if he would take the hint to elaborate. 

Nick just shrugged his shoulders as he grabbed the beer their bartender had just brought them and knocked back half the pint. 

“Bullshit, Nick. You don’t  _ let _ anyone win, ever. What happened?” She pushed on.

“Nothing, Ellie nothing. I let her win, and that’s that,” he replied dismissively. 

Ellie was not about to let this go, “If ‘that’s that’ then why the hell won’t you look me in the eye anymore? You’re distracted, I’m not blind.”

Nick sighed and dragged his free hand down his face, coming back to look her directly in the eye. “See? I look you in the eye.”

She sent the most unamused glare she could muster his way.

“Fine, fine. I’m distracted, yes. But it doesn’t involve you.” 

“Nick, you’re my best friend, if something’s wrong, of course it involves me. I care about you,” she added at the end while reaching out to touch his hand. 

Immediately he pulled his hand away, as if her touch burned. “Listen, I can’t explain it, you’ll have to trust me. I know that’s hard for you, but you’ll have to.” 

“Nick-“ Ellie warned, “you know I trust you. I trust you with my life. Why are we still on that?”

“Ellie of course we’re still on that! We never stopped being on that! I- I- I can’t right now. I have to go.” Nick finished as he pushed back from the table with a huff and threw down a few bills to cover his drink. 

Haphazardly she tried to get herself together to follow him, “But, Nick—“

“I’ll catch an Uber, Ellie. I need to go. I can’t do this with you.” Nick said and gave her one last look before turning to go and disappearing in the crowd. 

She finally got her things together and tossed a few more bills down, but by the time she rushed out to the curb, he was gone.  _ He was not running away so easily this time... _

———

She almost drove straight to his place, but halfway there remembered he didn’t have his car. Quickly pulling a u-ie, she redirected back to work. Speeding tickets might reach her mailbox later, but a few more minutes and she was throwing her truck in park next to Nick’s car. Having a pretty good idea where he’d be if he wasn’t home yet, she made her way down to the gym. 

Coming around the corner, she heard him before she saw him, and what she heard caused her to slow. 

_Punch_— “DON’T be a wuss—“  _ punch _ , “DON’T be a wuss—“  _ punch _ , “DON’T be a wuss—“ He continued to chant like a mantra, emphasizing each statement with a hard knock to the bag. 

When she couldn’t take eavesdropping anymore, she slowly entered the gym from behind Nick. He hadn’t seen her in the opposite mirror yet, too engrained in his routine. She stopped about a few yards from him and the punching bag. 

She had an inkling she knew what this was about, but she needed him to say it. She’d been  _ dying _ for him to say it for so long now. Had given him so many opportunities.  _ Now was the time, Nick _ , she thought. 

“You’re not a wuss,” Ellie said, just loud enough for him to hear, but muted all the same. 

Nick whirled around, shocked to see her standing there. It took him a second to form words, but when he did he seemed almost exhausted. “I am, though. I let Ziva win.”

“So you’ve said, Nick. But my question is  _ why _ ?”

“Why I let Ziva win, or why I’m a wuss?” Nick asked looking a bit hopeless, like he’d been run ragged with his arms just flopped to the side. 

“Both, I guess?” Ellie hedged. 

“I let Ziva win because she called me a wuss—“

“But you’re not—“

He raised a weak hand to cut her off, “I’m a wuss because for the life of me I  _ still _ can’t tell you my feelings.”

Ellie opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Good thing too because Nick apparently wasn’t done. 

“You know why I can’t tell you my feelings? Because I don’t freaking  _ know _ my feelings! One minute you irritate the hell out of me, one minute you look like the sweetest girl in the world, one minute you rake my heart through the gutter with accusations, one minute you open up about wanting to be a mother, one minute you’re almost getting killed, one minute keep a huge secret from me, and then one minute you worry about me even when you know I’m mad at you. Ellie, I don’t know my feelings. They’re a big, tangled mess in my head right now. I don’t know.” Nick finally ended as he let out the deepest sigh at the end. 

Taking a few careful steps, Ellie came closer to him. She reached out to touch him, but then let her hand drop as she wasn’t sure it was welcome. “Nick, I-. Speaking from experience, don’t listen to what your head has to say, that’ll get you into a relationship doomed from the start. Listen to your heart, that’ll get you a relationship that is sure to survive the ups and the downs, the highs and the lows. If you’re heart is in it, the rest will come.” She paused until he looked at her, “Nick. What does your heart say?”

She tried to swallow the lump forming in her throat as he took longer and longer to respond. Seconds before she turned away to leave, he grabbed her hands and pulled her close. Her breathing hitched as she waited.

That part has always been clear, my heart says you, Ellie. It always has- always will, that’s the problem,” he declared with a wink.

“That’s not a problem, Nick, that’s a relief,” she replied as she took her hands from his to wrap them around his neck and finally, blessedly, pressed her lips to his. The altogether passion she was met with made her nervous offer for drinks earlier completely worth it. At least, her heart sure thought so. 


End file.
